Technology : It’s sneaky…. It’s oh so sneaky!

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So I’ve decided to make blogging “a thing” for me, and go about gratuitously spouting words on a regular basis. I’m sort of hoping that my mind-farts will be interesting to more people than just the voices in my head, so…..

Well, I actually wanted to start this process last night, but instead I was blog-blocked by evil technology. Not one issue, not two issues, but three separate technological glitches made this process “rather frustrating” (please note the major understatement here). Thanks to the friendly folksters at Empowerment Network Support, I was able to get this blogging thing on the road 24 hours later.

But it brought me back to the realisation that technology (much like dinosaur bones) was put here by the devil himself to drive mankind to self-destruction (the technology, not the dinosaur bones). And I don’t mean this in the “machines will rule the world and kill us all” type of way. Technology is waaaay more sneaky than that; it plots, it plans, is e-sneaks. It catches us when we’re at our MOST vulnerable.

Ever notice how your printer works perfectly fine up until the very minute where you have 5 minutes to print that really important document for that really important presentation? Or how when you’re really tired and frustrated and you just have to do ONE more thing before you can go to sleep, your computer chooses that moment to spout some incomprehensible error that will take hours of frustrating Google searches to find a solution. Do you think this is coincidence?

Technology is not here to help us, it is here to drive us to kill ourselves or each other out of sheer frustration! You know what I mean….. Smartphone maps that go on the blink when you’re in the pouring rain trying to find the place you should be, temperature controls that choose the hottest points of summer and the coldest points of winter to break down, and computers that freeze just as you’re about to save the project you’ve spent the last few hours doing.

“Computer says no”?  More like: “Computer says mwoohahahaha”

Don’t be fooled, there is crafty, coordinated plot afoot, and the fact is that every year we turn more and more of our lives over to technology and its only accelerating. Only today I was reading about how in the next 3 years they will be releasing technology that will allow all inanimate objects (like your toaster, fridge, automobile, radio and computer) to “talk to each other” via the internet. And you can just imagine what they’ll be discussing….

But what happens when THESE go on the blink? Will there come a day when all our basic daily functions could simply collapse around us because our computer is going through a rebellious phase? A massive case of: “How do you like THEM apples, humans” that willactually end our ability to lead normal lives?

But while we look forward to the coming techopolypse, we are suffering from surprisingly high amounts of technology-rage. We’ve all been there…. I think if the voices in my head were even the slightest bit more violent than they are, I might have done terrible things to innocent people out of sheer anger and frustration at the coordinated effort by my technology to undermine me.

Enjoy your techno-gadgets that run your life, but heed my warning:  keep a careful beady eye on them!!

iCame.  iSaw.  iConquered!

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